I have been learning to add detail to my writing. I am proud of going back to my learning and rewriting my mistakes. Something that challenged me was adding adjectives to describe my learning. Next time I could add a bit more to writing.The learning muscle I was stretching was my refining muscle because I needed to fix up my very boring sentences, I was stretching my learning muscle in writing. Here is some of the sentences I fixed up.
I looked around the room looking at the messy sight. It was so messy I couldn’t see the carpet.
Bailey was calling me now and led me to the curtain I was confused but when she opened the curtains it showed a small bed with the same matching pillows as the curtains. So was the mattress.
I really enjoyed writing the story - now you can read it too!
Have you ever moved house and was excited to go inside and see the clean house? I have, but when I opened the door I didn’t see a beautiful sight I saw, Boxes, Boxes, and Boxes! I ran upstairs hoping something was clean. Nope! Boxes were on the floor stacked on the chairs everywhere. Nan had an walk-in wardrobe in the corner of the bedroom. I looked inside nowhere had space. I ran to my room I opened the door. There was no way to get inside but what a mess! My bed wasn’t built all the bits and pieces were scattered everywhere around the room. One piece leaned on the door. I pushed it over and went through the door. I looked around the room looking at the messy sight. It was so messy I couldn’t see the carpet. Dallas (Dallas is my Baby brother and he is extremely hypo) made everything look playful but today he looked bored. I was bored too so I made a decision if I help unpack and set things up I could have some fun. So I ran to lounge and asked mum if she needed help. She nodded and I helped her push the couches in place. All that was needed was the TV. Bailey was calling me now and led me to the curtain I was confused but when she opened the curtains it showed a small bed with the same matching pillows as the curtains. So was the mattress. Our new hiding spot was very sneaky. We played hide and seek with Dallas and hid in our hiding spot. Dallas was looking in the best place we could think of. Mum moved some in front of the curtains now it was harder for him to find us now. But that was what we thought until we heard some rustling at the curtains. BOO! Dallas found us but how. The TV was set up now and we were glad we were found. We sat together watching Nick.jr our favourite channel. Now we had more fun.It was nearly time for bed so she got to work and built our bunk beds.
Now it was dinner time. Dad came home from work with a surprize FRIED RICE. We looked at our food with our eyes wide open. The steamy fried rice was so delicious I couldn’t wait a minute longer to let my bowl cool down. I took a large scoop of fried rice into my mouth but it so big I couldn’t even chew it. I struggled to get it into my throat. I managed to squirt some rice into my throat and started to chew my dinner. After dinner mum told us it was late so we jumped into our beds. Happily I dreamed tomorrow was going to be better than today. Certainly I was going help unpack everything and tidy up the mess in my room. Hopefully my plan will work. THE END
